Trust issues

D e c e m b e r  31
Last day of 2012

Hi! Uhm, how do I start this?..

First of all, this is literally a new blog since I wasn't able to find my other blogspot account so I am def sad because I can't read anymore my previous ones. :( Sooooo, why am I here? I thought of writing in my journal but then the lazy hands didn't permit me to. (please credit that it's Christmas break and so my penmanship could be horrible) And poof! Blogspot is the remedy! Yey. Anyway, I woke up 10 to 10 (actually, mom woke me up) and I was pretty deprived of sleep since I slept by 3 in the morning.  What you have just read is just rare. Knowing myself, I don't really stay up late, may it be school stuff or what.. but last night was different. Sooo, here's the catch. I usually go to bed at 11 but last night I decided to spend a little more time texting A so it took me to extend 2 hours. (1am is my latest time of sleep) because he's out w his HS friends, a BNO! (boys night out). I normally permit him if he wants to go out or what. (am such a good girlfriend huhu) And then my usual extension was extended and my drowsiness was almost gone.. 2am and he admitted that he's already drunk and he's been like high because his messages are like.. "Baaaaabe!! asdfghjkl!!!" He was proud that there was a girl checking them out and asked for his and his friend's name and he just said hi or whatever but his friend joined the girl's table and he DIDN'T. Yes, I was proud of him that he can say no to temptations. And he kept on telling me he can't cheat on me because he loves me so much and he doesn't want to lose me ever again. (tissue please hahaha) Then later on, the topic was about TRUST without my notice -__- He rants about how I don't give him my complete trust, that in our 2 years of relationship, he never felt that I trusted him ever. I didn't know how to take that during that time.. Yes, I admit, it was hard for me to fully entrust it to him because maybe it's about my personal issue and and it's his friends that I don't trust :-( We ended up the talk w him being cold to me and now, I am scared of what his mood will be when he wakes up.

Anyway, now that I was able to spill it out, might check some boxes now on my to-do-list. Till next... rant? Hahaha!